We've All Been There
02.07.07

Many of us venture into dancing to meet people and make friends. There are always a few people we meet along the way who get fussy about who they dance with. To be honest, it is their loss. This story isn't about them. This is about the ones who care about their community and the people that enjoy or look up to them.
 
A few years ago, I had the pleasure of taking in a workshop weekend featuring Mary Ann Nunez. As some of you know from her weekend here at Goldcoast a couple months ago, Mary Ann is an incredible talent in the dance world as well as exceptional instructor.
 
In this case, she was teaching a class on identifying and reacting to breaks in the music. For those of you that need more info, a break is when the music changes in content or form in contrast to the music just before and just after. A common break is for all but one instrument or voice to stop playing for 2-4 beats. As Mary Ann conducted this class, she decided to run a contest at the end to see who could come up with ideas to show off in a song she selected.
 
Beth and I knew the song she was using and did a great job of playing with those breaks. We did well enough for her to select us as the winners of the contest. The prize? A chance to dance with Mary Ann in front of everyone at the workshop.
 
With some 40+ people in attendance, I proceeded to become one of the biggest statues you have ever seen on a dance floor. Mary Ann is maybe 5 feet tall and 100 pounds soaking wet and she scared the stuffings out of me. To tell the truth, that little lady still intimidates the daylights out of me to this day and I know I am not alone...
 
To complete the story, Mary Ann understood what had happened and proceeded to dance as if I was the best partner in the world. She has always been a gracious partner, teacher and person. We have since discussed that occasion and she still doesn't quite understand the effect she has on some of us, but she handles it with the grace and humility of a saint.
 
So, what is the moral of the story? A couple of different things I would like you all to take away from this...and no, one is not what a great statue I can be!
 
First is that partners look out for each other. They protect the team mate and look out for things going on around them that may effect their dance. They use their strengths to cover the partner's weakness and allow the partner to shore up their trouble spots.
 
Next is that your partner may have danced with you once or a hundred times before, but do not assume you know how they will dance. Test drive the first phrase or two with a partner before you turn on the jets and go speeding into new moves and ideas. Fatigue, bad day, disappointing previous dance and other situations may block your partner from a quick start. By working with them and seeing where they are in their dancing, you will gain some trust and hold them in a comfort zone until the team is ready to explore. Do not assume they are ready!
 
Finally, no matter how good you may be, we all make mistakes and we all may freeze in certain situations. Making mistakes is human and normal and something all of us go through. To not try because we are worried about making mistakes is to not really live your dreams. A teacher once pointed out that "The way to the cool room is through the geek room."
 
Bottom line is it is ok to make mistakes on the dance floor. I remember situations like the one with Mary Ann. However, the reason I remember is not because of the mistake, but because of the reaction from her and the people around me. She was gracious and encouraging. Other dancers were equally as supportive and related similar experiences to me. They could have really gotten down on me, but instead, they turned it into a positive situation to learn and grow from. I am thankful for those people in my life and only wish that all of you had such wonderful friends in your community.
 
For those of you that run into the "Negative Nelly's" that do exist out there, let it go. We all know way too many people who didn't take the chance and wish they had. Don't let someone talk you into being like that. Learn from what happened and share it with those that care and want the same things in their life. Take the positives of any situation with you and you will be continuing on your road to enriching your life and being a better part of the community around you.
 
I suppose I could make excuses for what happened to me in that class (maybe the glare from my head reflected in a mirror and hypnotized me?...HAH!). What happened is in the past and although Mary Ann is still a scary partner for me (ok...I'll continue when you are done rolling on the floor laughing at that one...), I have done better than before and am sure that I will be even better in the future. You need the experience in order to determine how to improve.
 
In closing this, be a winner. You are not a winner by belittling others or shining a light on their errors. You are a winner by giving your best effort and sharing those experiences with those around you. Support others who are willing to get out on the floor and try just like you.