Getting In The Game
01.12.07

To ask or not to ask? There is a question that haunts the dance scene and will continue to bedevil many dancers during their dance career.
 
Back in the medieval times (somewhere around 1980), Women's lib was still sorting its' way into the social scene. Partner dancing was just getting through the disco era and getting ready for some suburban cowboy dancing. The rules prior to this period were the men doing the asking and ladies demurely waiting for their champion to pull up on his charger and request their presence on the dance floor.
 
To this day, the followers who grew up in those times still cling to these concepts. Various reasons are given to rationalize this position. Whether it is because they are shy or feel uncomfortable about their skills or intimidated by the potential partners available, these ladies are blocked from making that "first move." Many women who only relate to those times through stories from their parental units have been raised with the idea of waiting for the man to ask and perpetuating this ritual into modern times.
 
Viewed as a social activity, the social norms and rules apply and this particular tradition continues. What if the view of the activity was adjusted to being more of a game or sport though? If the potential partner is simply another player in the three minute game you offer to play, do the social rules apply?
 
Many women have reconfigured their view in some fashion that allows them the opportunity to ask the man to dance. Although considered brazen by some, this position gives them an advantage in getting to the dance floor more often and many times with the better dancers available. This leads to more practice and more skills. It follows then that these dancers generally become more popular as partners and the advantage continues to grow.
 
Off the dance floor, you can apply whatever social rules you grew up with and embrace. If you want to get on the floor more, establish and grow your skills, you need to get into the game mentality. Think of this as being progressive rather than aggressive.
 
Many of the men involved in dancing are becoming used to the idea of being approached for a dance. At many events, we may not make it off the floor for several dances as we get a tap almost as soon as the previous dance ends. At local dances, I have observed ladies finish a dance and begin scanning the traffic patterns of the floor to find a candidate in close proximity for the next game.
 
From a psychological point of view, this tendency is gratifying to the leaders as an ego massage at the very least. Since the dance population is heavily unbalanced, the leaders have the advantage in not needing to "brace themselves" to ask for a dance. Reasonably trained dancers become exceedingly popular and even poorly trained dancers can get a good workout just because of that imbalance.
 
If the population was reversed in distribution, the idea of waiting for a leader to ask would make sense. Fewer ladies would create a pressure on the gents to make the first move and the old rules would apply. Without that pressure, the leaders are in demand and the follower needs to think about adjusting to this "Dance Jungle" in order to thrive. Adapt a new mentality and "Get In The Game!"